Sunday 26 May 2013

My Very Best Friend

Sat in a beautiful beer garden this weekend, enjoying the wonderfully rare sun, a family walked by us with their young daughter, no more than 4 years old. As the litte girl walked into the garden she looked at the family on her right and shouted very loudly to the elderly lady that was enjoying a day out with her own family. "Hello" she shouted and waved at the lady as she walked by and made her way into the hotel exclaiming "That's my very best friend in the whole world Daddy". The elderly lady was thrilled and everyone around couldn't help but smile as the little girl skipped away. It was as if the little girls happiness was infectious!

It was one of those rare moments when two individuals at either end of the age scale interacted and it was lovely to see. It made me smile as it reminded me of growing up with my Nan and Grand-dad who were my "Very Best Friends" but who were also wonderful teachers!

As I've mentioned, our Grand Parents and even our Great Grandma were a big part of our lives growing up and although they didn't have any formal education to speak of themselves, they were fantastic, although unorthodox, teachers. I was taught to count with dominoes, taught to read by reading Woman's Own & Woman's Weekly out loud to my Nan before bed and taught patience by learning how to play Patience!

I was reminded again of unorthodox teaching methods when earlier this week, like many across the country, I attended a Home Instead Dementia Awareness workshop (with Ruth, Peter and the team at East Lancashire branch), as part of National Dementia Awareness week. We were shown new methods of how to interact with dementia sufferers. We were also taught so much about the disease and the ongoing research into the causes and the search for a cure. One of the most powerful sections was on how to effectively communicate with dementia sufferers. I put these methods into practice on my visit to Nan earlier today.

When I arrived, Nan was sat there in the centre of everything, people buzzing around her and wanting to be near her so I joined the crowd and took my place. Nan loves to talk about her family, especially her Mum and Dad and family and in this time during early evening, she usually talks happily about them and what they've been up to; randomly picking out words and mini sentences that don't join up. This evening was different.

As shown on our dementia awareness course, I'd taken in a couple of images that I'd printed out of things that I know Nan likes - a big cart horse, a flat iron, flowers, a mangle and a picture of a shop we would all visit when a wedding or event was coming up, Stewarts of Ardwick. It was just like the sit com "Are you being Served" and my brother and I loved it!

Showing Nan the pictures was nothing short of amazing! She looked at the horse and after calling it a "beautiful Gee Gee" went on to tell me that her Dad kept horses, which he did. She told me that "he looked after them really well you know" She also looked at the iron and said "ooh that looks like a good iron".

What made me smile the most, was the fact that Nan reminded me of something; on looking at the picture of Stewarts of Ardwick, she laughed and said "Remember all those stairs" and pointed to where the two staircases were that we would all have to stop after the first long flight for a breather. That was a memory that I had totally forgotten, filed away until tonight. After showing Nan the pictures, she did something she hasn't done with me since her diagnosis and she started asking me questions; "are you working" "what do you do now" do you like it". The question and answer session lasted about 15 minutes and it was an absolute joy!

It may seem a strange thing for you to take printed images with you on your visit to see your loved one, but like Ruth at Home Instead said it would, it triggers memories and gives the person a different focus.

All the while I was sat with Nan, I was producing maltesers, one at a time and she looked at me each time like we were friends, conspiring to eat chocolate whilst no one was looking. That's exactly what we are - friends. Of the very best kind.


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